The Misadventures of Mrs. Malaprop Pt. 5

 

Sometimes, teachers can expect a little much from students. Usually it’s something simple, like wanting you to bring your cat for a biology experiment or asking you to read Shakespeare without a dictionary. However, Mrs. Malaprop is notorious for asking for superhuman feats from her students.

One superhuman attribute she expects from “AP learners” is a lack of need for sleep and incredible work speed. She puts a link to a video up at 8:03 AM or uploads a worksheet at 9:36 PM, and duly expects you to have completed it done by first period, obviously. Unless you forgo sleep for intense meditation sessions daily or work at the speed of sound, its likely you wouldn’t complete this assignment.

For another example, she is known for butchering data from labs(what a surprise) because she doesn’t collect the data, and expects to be handed it. This would be fine for students if you weren’t also supposed to use this data for the lab test the next day, as it so happened to be once. So, in a frantic attempt to salvage the situation, she once sent us a string of 5 emails; the first email was literal gibberish, completely indecipherable, legible only to true “AP learners.” The next couple emails were contradictory, alternating between asking for data and telling us how to format the data. A beautiful sight for any students hurriedly studying for the test. The last email was at about 9 PM, and I have no idea why she expected people to be able to see this, or be able to respond. At this point, you either had data or were hoping you didn’t need it. Our group of students had to collaborate with different class periods to get our own set of data for the lab, and when we got to class the next day, she blamed us of “cross talk” and just gave us some data she made up, making everything from the previous night worthless.

These debacles are so stressful and emotionally draining that it’s hard to give 100% effort in the class all the time.  The most offensive thing she does after these spectacles is when she starts talk about how she expects more from us as AP students and that when she messes up we complain to the administration. This is so ignorant of how the class functions that it borders on being a parody of bad teaching. Both her poor performance and our “poor” performance hurt only one group, the students. It’s our GPA, class rank, time, and AP exam grade at stake, not hers.

 

“This will be the final projection of my Misadventures for a while!” -Mrs. Malaprop

 

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